Nothing profound to say today

Just doing X Stretch today and taking care of Adam. All is well.

TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - 2 soy sausage patties, whole wheat English muffin, 1 Polly-O string cheese, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee
LUNCH - carrots and hummus
SNACK - protein bar
DINNER - Grilled chicken with montreal spices, steamed vegetable medley, wild rice, glass of skim milk, protein bar for dessert

Sabum-nim Kei (trans. "Honor the Instructor")

Dear Grandmaster Kim,

It has been at least 20 years since we have seen each other, but I think of you and your family often. What you all provided for me for the years that I was your student at Blue Dragon Tae-Kwon Do in Maryland was invaluable. Your impact on my life was profound and wonderful. And while I regret telling you that I never continued with my Tae-Kwon Do training after my teens, I thank you for not only providing me guidance, but also with tools that gave me physical strength, mental stability, and emotional discipline. While I am currently in a different regiment of training today, I still draw on those skills every day. Thank you again, sir, for being my teacher; I have never forgotten your wisdom and your instruction... and I never will.

With deepest respects,
Adam H_______

TODAY'S WORKOUT - KENPO X

TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - spinach omelet, 1/2 grapefruit, 8 oz skim milk, coffee
LUNCH - Asian Sesame Chicken Salad and whole grain baguette (at Panera)
SNACK - Protein bar
DINNER - wild rice, vegetable medley, 2 Boca burger Patties, banana, scoop of whey protein in 8 oz skim milk

And right they were!

Core Synergistics is HARD! Tried to keep the core muscles engaged as per Mr. Horton's "tip of the day" but I'm not sure how successful I was. I sweat buckets and did my best, but I somehow had the feeling I was supposed to keep my abdomen taut through the whole thing. If that was the case, I am not sure I did that correctly. If not, I need to just stop thinking. Well, either way, I get to do it again on Monday; we'll see what happens then. Still, it was great cardio and it really flew by quickly! I like this workout! Kenpo X tomorrow... and you know I love that one!

Phone interview today with ASU! I'm really excited... this is a good opportunity. My friends Johnny, Tom, and Drew are rootin' for me! I hope to give them good news this evening... wait... strike that... I WILL GIVE THEM GOOD NEWS THIS EVENING!!! Howzat?! :-)


Bring it!

TODAY'S WORKOUT - CORE SYNERGISTICS

TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - Protein shake (strawberries and chocolate whey protein)
LUNCH - 2 Boca Burger patties, serving of raw baby carrots, 2 tbsp hummus
SNACK - protein bar, banana
DINNER - grilled salmon with Montreal spices, wild rice, vegetable medley

1st Day of Recovery Week

Did Yoga X for Day 1 as prescribed. Always good for mental and spiritual health.... balances are still tough, but the flexibility is getting better. Everyone who has done this program says tomorrow's workout, the Core Synergistics X is a killer! I'm going to preview the video to see what I am in store for...

Got paid and tax returns came in today... so I could grocery shop! Yay! Now, what to do about that tenant...

TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - 4 strips turkey bacon, whole wheat English Muffin, glass of skim milk (8 oz), coffee
LUNCH - apple slices, 6-inch chicken breast sub with lettuce, cheese, and a little sweet onion dressing
DINNER - large steak (9 or 10 oz I think), serving of broccoli spears, 1 cup cooked corn, glass of skim milk (8 oz)

Week 3 Finished!

Yes folks.... that's it for week three! And as usual, here are the best, worst and hardest:

BEST - Again, huge improvement in terms of performance... but discovering that the barrier is in my mind was probably the best part. In a weird way this was a relief... it made every workout much better this week because all I had to do was shut the mind off and move. No thinking about the stupid infomercials... hell there wasn't even any pausing to "visualize what I wanted to see when the 90 days was up! With that mindset, I really felt energized by the time Legs & Back day came, and I think I was at the top of my game during Kenpo X!

HARDEST - Discovering that the barrier is in my mind was also the hardest part. I'm my own worst enemy and my own harshest critic. Getting out of my own way is always the toughest thing to do. Thank god for the Yoga and Stretch days... all that drifts away. More than anything, those two days are more about mental and spiritual care than stretching and bending, as far as I am concerned.

WORST - Eating habits were off kilter this week. Finding the Dove chocolate covered almonds in the freezer was both a blessing and a curse. Granted they were a cheat food, but they were also great for a needed pick-me-up during this really hard week which only got harder when my tenant wrote a rent check that bounced. Chocolate does help in a situation like that, and although I didn't go overboard with them, I did make them gone over the course of the week (only a few a day). So much for sticking to the diet. The other problem with her rent check bouncing was that it made it harder to shop for groceries this week. Luckily, I still had enough supplies in the kitchen to stick with some semblance of the meal plan, but as you can see on the preceding days of this blog, I wasn't exactly making the best choices for meals. All I can say is that payday is this Friday, and my tax return is on it's way in... this will pass.

So the next week is "recovery week" as far as the exercise plan is concerned. Yoga X twice this week, Core Synergistics X (a new program for me) twice this week as well, Kenpo X once mid-week and X Stretch twice. I have to admit... it sounds like a rather dull week to me, but according to the little booklet taht came with the DVDs, this is a time for my body to "recover from the hard resistance training and focus on tightening the midsection... which will supposedly enhance the adaptive process. Well okay.... {shrug} I'm not asking questions, I'm just doing it.

TODAY'S WORKOUT - X Stretch

TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - 4 strips of turkey bacon, 1 whole grain english muffin, glass of milk, coffee
LUNCH - 2 Boca burger patties, 1/2 a serving of asparagus, glass of milk
DINNER - 1/2 serving of asparagus, grilled chicken breast with Italian Seasonings, 1 Polly-o string cheese
SNACK AT MIDDAY - 1 tangerine

I have been looking forward to this....

KENPO DAY! I really love it... I could go for a few more days of this versus Plyo. From what I understand, I'll have quite a bit of it next week! Cool!

TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - 4 slices of turkey bacon, whole grain English muffin, tangerine, coffee
LUNCH - can of vegetable soup, two Boca burger pattties, 1 Polly-o String cheese
DINNER - grilled chicken with Italian seasoning, steamed asparagus, wild rice.

The barrier is in my mind...

... and it's coming DOWN!!!

By the way, Ab Ripper X proved to be 1000 times more palatable when I set the DVD for "Music and Cues." I'd call that one more brick falling out, wouldn't you?

TODAY'S WORKOUT - Legs & Back X, Ab Ripper X

TODAY'S MENU:
BREAKFAST - Protein Shake, 1/2 banana, coffee
LUNCH - Subway: 6 inch chicken breast on whole wheat with American cheese, shredded lettuce, and a little sweet onion dressing
SNACK - a couple of handfuls of cashews and a couple of handfuls of pistachios
DINNER - wild rice, brocolli... no chicken because I forgot to thaw it!!!

"Do your best and forget the rest!"

Mr. Horton says this in just about every video of the P90X series. I'm starting to realize "the rest" in my case are all those mental gymnastics I was putting myself through last night about the infomercials.

Nothing more profound to say. Time to do the laundry.

TODAY'S WORKOUT: Yoga X

TODAY'S MENU:
BREAKFAST - 2 soy sausage patties, whole wheat english muffin, 1 Polly-o string cheese, coffee, glass of milk.
LUNCH - can of Progresso Lite Southwest Chicken Soup, protein shake with berries
DINNER - "Saturn" salad from Liquid Planet, bottle of OJ
INDULGENCE - slice of pumpkin cheesecake at Starbucks.... and I regret it not!

That's me too.... right?

It's later today on Saturday, January 23rd. Just spending some quality time with the dogs, and watching some TV with them. And of all things, the P90X infomercial comes on TV, and I'm watching it again with the same amount of hope that I had when I was someone who didn't own the DVDs. It's so weird to me that even today when I am already well into this program that I can see those infomercials and think "What if that were me..." The truth is that it is me... I'm becoming a part of that now. But the trouble is that even though I am doing this and loving it, my mind keeps insisting that I can't believe everything I see on TV... or even on these videos! Even so, I just would love to love the results that I get as much as the people on the dumb infomercials appear to do. I know that when I started this program I was not terribly out of shape, and I was never ashamed of the way that I looked (nor had I any reason to be). But boy it sure would be nice to have that kind of evidence (at least for myself) to see that commitment paid off and paid off handsomely.

I keep thinking back to the early days of my sobriety, over 13 years ago... I was 21 years old and had such a bad attitude at meetings. I'm lucky that anything anyone had to say to me got through to me at all! Back then, I was always afraid that someone was going to tell me that I was too young to have it.... that I really needed to go back out there and suffer some more with my addiction before I was really ready to get this. That fear always drove me to work harder in my sobriety. Yet even as negative as I was back then (and as driven to succeed as I was in spite of my bad attitude), I was still hopeful in the same kind of way that I am now. I really wanted to be able to laugh at stuff that had happened in my past like I saw other people in meetings doing, and I really wanted my painful past to become the kind of experience, strength, and hope that others were sharing with me. And yes it did eventually happen, but it took a lot of time and effort. And although I know that this is not exactly the same thing, in a weird way it is... for some stupid reason, I keep thinking that the benefits won't be mine to reap or that I won't "get what I am promised for playing the game." And yet it's driving me to keep at it. I know that's a rather selfish attitude, but hey... I'm trying to be honest.

It's moments like this that I kinda wish I had a "P90X sponsor" the way I have one to "coach me" in my sobriety. Hell, there are times I wish I could talk to Mr. Horton himself and ask him just one little question: "I'll still want what I have and be happy with it when I am done, right?"

I hope a P90X graduate somewhere reads this and knows what I am talking about... If you're out there, please say something.

P90X-periment

While Ab Ripper X today was it's usual 16 minutes of masochism, today's round of Shoulders and Arms X was a good time to experiment with weights, reps, and bands. Here are the results of said experiment:

1.) Though I really wanted to try it and succeed, increasing weight and decreasing reps was not the answer... back to what I did last week.
2.) The black resistance band indeed proved to be as heavy duty as the box says, and it gave me a hell of a good workout... first time I ever tried using one!
3.) pushing myself to do more reps with the same weight was a success... actually increased the number of lying tricep presses that I did last week.

So, there you are... Moral of the story? Don't mess too much with something that works.

TODAY'S WORKOUT: Shoulders and Arms X, Ab Ripper X

TODAY'S MENU:
BREAKFAST - spinach omelet, 1/2 banana, 2 slices of turkey bacon
LUNCH - leftovers from last night's dinner
SNACK - protein bar, whey protein in skim milk
DINNER - leftovers from last night's dinner
SNACK @ MOVIES - unbuttered unsalted popcorn, can of Fresca

JUMP for my love!

Please note the change in attitude... two weeks since my first Plyo X and I've gone from being "hopping mad" and exhausted to jumping for joy because this time I was right on pace! I still tough on the knees and my balance isn't very cat-like, but I'm so glad I didn't wuss out and do just the regular Cardio X like I was thinking I might do this morning (see that? told on myself people...).

TODAY'S WORKOUT - PLYOMETRICS X

TODAY'S MENU:
BREAKFAST - protein shake, 1/2 a banana, coffee
LUNCH - grilled chicken salad, protein bar
SNACK - glass of cranberry juice
DINNER - 2 grilled pork chops (small), steamed broccoli, brown rice
DESSERT - chocolate-banana shake (cup of skim milk, chocolate flavored whey protein, 1/2 banana)

The numbers are in...

... AND THEY'RE UP FROM LAST WEEK! Wooo! Getting in at least three more reps in each exercise of the Chest and Back X workout! I just love seeing progress! Still a bit nauseated halfway thorugh the workout from all the up-ad-down motion, and I have to take a longer break mid-workout so that I don't ralph, but I am just thrilled to see and feel a difference since Day 1.


Ab Ripper X tonight... you know how I feel about that workout. Man, I'd better be able to bounce a quarter off my tummy by the time this is all done!

TODAY'S WORKOUT:
CHEST & BACK X - between 12 and 15 reps on 24 exercises, using chin up bar in door frame for pull-ups, dumbbells for heavy pants and lawnmowers, and small tension band for back fly
AB RIPPER X - complete, but tough

TODAYS MENU:
BREAKFAST - mushroom omelet, 1/2 grapefruit, banana, coffee
LUNCH - 2 Boca Burger patties, handful of baby carrots, 1 serving of raw snap peas, 2 tbsp of plain hummus
SNACK - protein bar
DINNER (out at Chinese buffet) - crab maki sushi (6 pieces), veggie maki sushi (4 pieces), egg maki sushi (2 pieces), 1 serving of chicken and broccoli, 1 small bowl of cherry Jello

Week Two Complete

So far, so good.... I seem to be on the right course, and enjoying both the exercise and the blogging. So, in the usual fashion, here's the best, hardest and worst of this week:

BEST - This week saw a significant improvement both in attitude and in performance. I'm getting used to following the diet with some modifications, of course. I am also seeing that when I do this in the morning, I'm (oddly enough) more relaxed at work and tend to move at a more reasonable pace... all good things.

HARDEST - Remembering that this is going to take time, and trusting that the hard work will get me results.... that's the real hard part. I still want to see overnight change, which is unrealistic. However, I am at least able to "catch myself and bring myself back" when I go there.

WORST - Ab Ripper X is getting increasingly harder. I'd like to think I am just pushing against a threshold here, but I genuinely dread the days that it is part of the training despite the fact that it's the shortest of all the workouts. Hoping at least for a better attitude there next week.

Anyway, that's it.... X Stretch tonight and back to the the grindstone tomorrow morning.

TODAY'S MENU -
BREAKFAST - cheese omelet, 2 strips of turkey bacon, 1 banana, 1 cup black coffee
SNACK - protein bar
LUNCH - grilled chicken salad with lo-cal Italian dressing, 1 Polly-o string cheese
DINNER - 1 cup snap peas, handful of baby carrots, 2 Boca burger patties

Ka-POW!!

Kenpo X this morning. My form was better; Master Kim would be a little more pleased with me today, I believe. Mr. Horton, on the other hand, might think I was dogging. Any of you P90X graduates find his pace on this workout a little too fast, or is it just me?

No Adam... it's just you. Heh heh heh...

Here's hoping for a better Tuesday!

TODAY'S MENU -
BREAKFAST - protein shake, 1/2 banana, 1 cup black coffee
SNACK - protein bar
LUNCH - grilled chicken salad with lo-cal Italian dressing, 1 Polly-o string cheese
DINNER - 1 cup carrots, 3 Tbsp hummus, 2 Boca burger patties
DESSERT - scoop of chocolate-flavored whey protein and 2 strawberries in 8 oz milk (blend in blender...YUM!)

If a picture is worth a thousand words...

... then this one tells you everything you need to know about the kind of day I had:



Once again, I am turning to P90X for emotional catharsis. I am not sure if I would be feeling this way had I done the workout in the morning like I usually do, but hey... can't cry over spilled milk.

Personal note: Mr. Horton, I am two weeks into this program. I'm not seeing any magical transformations in my physique yet, but this is really helping me to get my mind right, at least. Guess I can thank you for that.

TODAY'S MENU:
BREAKFAST - Spinach omelet, 1/2 grapefruit, 8 oz skim milk, 1 cup black coffee
LUNCH - 2 meatless burger patties, carrots, 2 tbsp hummus, whey protein in 8 oz skim milk
SNACK - protein bar
DINNER - asparagus, wild rice, grilled swordfish

Taking care of where I TRULY live

Remember how I talked about learning last week that yoga was physically taxing? Learned another thing this week... they're not kidding when they say it's good for the mind and spirit. I have to tell you, I just couldn't wait to do the Yoga X workout this afternoon when I got home from collecting the rent at the house that I own in the west end of Oberlin. To me, that house symbolizes everything that went wrong for the last three years with my relationship, my professional life, and my spiritual well-being. My ex (the cat owner) says that sometimes he misses it and has a lot of good memories about the place. Not me.... not even a little bit.

I'm glad and grateful the woman who is renting it from me and her children love the place...I really am. To me, it just sucks me dry emotionally to even see it. It's the first time I have been back there and actually crossed the threshold there since I moved out. Seeing new furniture in the living room and the hallways was a good reminder that it's in the past, but it still felt icky to be there, and leaving after I got the rent felt like being paroled.

The Yoga X workout was perfect after this experience. I actually felt centered and rebalanced; probably it's because of the controlled breathing, but I also have a feeling that it's because every day that I am doing this program, I am taking care of Adam... and the body in which Adam lives.

update on 1/20/10 - Forgot to add the menu for the day. it was the same pattern, relatively speaking

I put on 5 lbs.

No, I didn't gain weight... I added the additional plates to the dumbbels like I had said I was thinking about doing last week. Another five pounds proved to be just perfect! Still feel pretty good after that workout... and I think I will attribute some of it to the swimming I did as well. Why the hell not? :) And of course, Ab Ripper X still tears me up, but I am still working on it.

It's funny.... just seeing the infomercial on TV now is all it takes to get me going in this workout. I know I have probably fallen victim to a trend diet/workout, but at least it's not one of those dumb machines like the ThighMaster or something stupid ilke that. Besides, everyone I have spoken to who has done the program raves about it.

Anyway, nothing terribly profound to share right now. Just poking along..... gonna enjoy the weekend. Yoga X tomorrow.

TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - 2 soy sausage patties on a whole wheat english muffin, 1 string cheese, 4 0z OJ
SNACK - Power Bar
LUNCH - green salad, 1 oz cashews
DINNER - grilled turkey breast, serving of green beans, wild rice, scoop of whey protein in 8 oz skim milk

"Bring a Bucket..."

Mr. Horton says this in the intro to the Plyometrics X workout. I'm serious. He's right, but it's not what I thought it was for... it's for the SWEAT! Having completed my second round of Plyo (and I did finish it all the way through without dogging today!), I am completely drenched. I can't help but wonder if I sweat this much when I was swimming, but never noticed it because... well, I was in the water. Most likely, the answer is yes... and probably more than I did doing Plyo.

You know, I like the workout for Plyo X, but it's really hard on the knees. And it's hard for me to land quietly; I have absolutely no grace. My former skating instructor, whom I am still friends with on Facebook, would probably tell you that I had that problem at age 8 or 9 when I was skating competitively. Anyway, I'm just glad I have no neighbors below me (and I worry about the day that I do if I am still doing this). Would I switch to Cardio X on Plyo days if that happens? I dunno...

Oh, update from last week... Sebastian, the cat, may have a home. I called my ex and it turns out that Sebastian may be going back to New Orleans to live with my ex's partner before me (I'm "Numero dos"). That's a huge relief to know there's another possible solution. I feel much better now. What a difference a week makes!

Not "the Biggest Loser" Anymore!

Remember how close I thought I came to dying last week? Not this time! Actually made it through without thinking I was going to puke or anything. Still a little light headed from the up-and-down motion that comes from a bunch of push ups and pull ups, and that may be a battle I will continue to fight over the course of the workout and the next 12 weeks. Even so, I am seeing progress from last week already. Glad I changed my mind and did X Stretch ( a slightly less intense version of Yoga X) last night before bed. I don't think I could have gotten through this morning without it.

I also wanna thank a friend of mine in Los Angeles (and previous P90X doer) for this tip to me in regards to the diet/metabolism comment I made yesterday: "I was in the exact same situation as you. I wanted to do the program to the letter. I also have a wicked high metabolism and was left ravenous throughout the day. My advice: tailor the diet. It's what I ended up doing. I simply couldn't live in the constant state of hunger. You have to realize that the program is designed as a general template that will work for the general average. If you're not in that general average, though, you're screwed. It's just like Tony says about the workouts, "Modify, modify, modify" to suit your current fitness level. There is no reason not to "modify, modify, modify" the diet a well based on your individual needs. I upped the calories in a major way - I upped the fat, I upped the carbs. Just keep it whole foods. And I finally felt satiated. I have a 7 - 10 percent body fat, so I don't think it did me any harm. Seriously, don't torture yourself for the sake of doing it perfectly - there is no reason you should be cranky, starving and dropping pounds. Listen to your body. (And rejoice in the fact that you get a lot more leniency in how you eat - it's one of the gifts of being a hard gainer!)" Those words are worth their weight in gold.

Question for those of you reading this: should I post the exercises/reps/weight I used? Will do so if you want to see 'em.

So good luck to my friend Chris in Tennessee (same one who sent me those Dove chocolates) who is starting P90X this week, and to my other buddy Billio who is also starting the following week!

TODAYS MENU:
BREAKFAST - mushroom omelet, 1/2 grapefruit, coffee
LUNCH - green salad with cashews, a few sprays of lite Italian dressing
SNACK - protein bar
DINNER (out at Chinese buffet) - crab maki sushi (5 pieces), veggie maki sushi (4 pieces), 3 steamed meat dumplings, 4 sauteed broccoli florets, 5 small pieces of "peanut chicken", a little orange Jell-o for desert

Probably could have made better choices for dinner... oh well.

And on the seventh day he rested...

Finally made it through the first week of P90X! Boy, has this been an ass-kicker and I am glad to take the day to recoup and regroup! Even so, I am looking forward to doing it again starting tomorrow.

So... best, hardest, and worst of this week are as follows:

BEST: Just completing the week! Despite all the physical rigor, the occasional discouragement at my lack of flexibility, and the stupidity of Mr. Horton's jokes, I did it! And I figure if I made it through this week, I can make it through another one.... AND see some improvement. I kept records of the exercises, reps, and weights I was using in a separate notebook (as directed). If I can repeat or improve on that, I will be enormously satisfied. I guess that's the goal for next week.

HARDEST: The diet has been hard to stick with and enjoy. Don't get me wrong, I haven't gone off it... I'm just not liking that part. I know what some of you are going to say here, and you're right... I don't need to lose weight. I agree 100%, but as I said before, I'm doing the whole program as an experiment to see what kind of results I get, and this is part of the progra. The main reason the diet has been hard to stick with has been less about "cheating" as it has been about the fact that although I am following the plan as closely as I can (and as my budget will allow), my metabolism is so high that the food plan I have been following (calculated according to the P90X Meal Plan book) is leaving me ravenous... and cranky... and too hungry to sleep at night sometimes! I have snuck in an extra snack during these times, but at least made good choices at those times (for example, last night was a fruit salad instead of French Silk Pie). Hopefully I will get some advice from someone who has gone through this program or another fitness-minded person... even if it is just to "get used to it and shut up." However, I hopped on the scale this morning and saw that I had lost about four or five pounds after this week, which is nice in terms of a dividend, but maybe not necessary for physical health.

WORST: Getting up at 5am to do the workouts. It's not fun, but it's the only time I can do it. I hate getting up before the sun... and in the winter, there's no avoiding it anyway. Even so, I think this is something I will get used to, so I consider this a temporary problem. For whatever it's worth, my dogs actually like this schedule -- up early to pee and poo, then right back to bed while their silly biped master jumps around for a while after that. Occasionally, they look at me from my doorway while I work out, utterly perplexed... and on days when I have to lay down to do exercises (Ab Ripper X), they run over and lick me in the face. They are my cheerleaders and supporters I guess. Guess I should be grateful.

So that's the first week in a nutshell. I hope that whomever is reading my blog is getting something out of it. Comments or not, I am actually having fun writing about this and will keep you posted.

TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - 2 sl, turkey bacon, cheese omelet, 1/2 grapefruit, 1 cup black coffee
LUNCH - shrimp stir-fry leftovers with peanuts, whey protein in skim milk
SNACK - Protein Bar
DINNER - 2 Boca Burger patties, snap peas, 3-4 tbsp hummus, 1 Polly-o string cheese, glass of milk b4 bed

I used to be a black belt...

No really... I was! I trained with Grandmaster Han Young Kim at Blue Dragon Tae Kwon Do in Timonium, Maryland when I was in my early teens and earned my 1st-dan black belt from him in 1988. I'm so glad he couldn't see me this morning as I did Kenpo X; he'd demand it back and forget he ever knew me, I'm sure. Ain't as flexible as I used to be at thirteen (obviously), and a lot of the old techniques I used to know that would have been helpful for this workout have worn down with age and disuse. At least I have something to aim for as I progress. And on a positive note, today I actually kept up with Mr. Horton and the kids! Maybe the years of training with Master Kim have not gone to waste after all, and maybe I'm getting out of first gear.

And boy, was it a relief to punch and kick today! Yesterday, my ex called to tell me that his cat (whom I cared for from the day he moved out until early last month) is not getting along with his new roommate's dog (blood has been drawn, from what he says), that he can't find anyone to adopt the cat, and that it's getting to the point where he may have to consider a "final solution." It just broke my heart... and it made it worse to think that I drove his pet all the way from Oberlin, OH to Northampton, MA only to find a few weeks later that he might put the cat down! Just burned me up and made me so foul-tempered for the last few hours of yesterday. Could have used the Kenpo X then, perhaps, instead of acting like an angry jerk at my meeting last evening and then driving home to be a bitter hermit!

I know it's his animal, his choice, and his responsibility. I also know that I should not feel guilty, as if I sent that animal to his doom. I will even nod in agreement when my ex says that it's not what he wants to do, but he is running out of time and options as the roommate's dog nurses his wounds and the terrified cat is under constant stress from being on red alert all the time. Still, it doesn't make it any less sour. As much as I hate to admit it, I got real attached to that animal... and for a while, I get to experience what cat owners across the globe feel for their cats. It's silly of me to mourn something that isn't dead, right? Even so, those of you who are so inclined, keep the cat, Sebastian, in your prayers.... and also my ex because (as I said) he's got a hard decision to make, and as upset as I am, I don't envy his position one bit.

Oh well... I awoke today telling myself that it was a new day, and to allow myself the grace of a fresh start. Now that I have had some sleep, sweat a few buckets thanks to Mr. Horton and company, and have written a bit about it, I feel better. Still determined to keep going, and still determined to keep looking for progress.... and MAKING IT!


Sebastian


TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - coffee, protein shake, 1/2 banana
SNACK - protein bar
LUNCH - 2 oz turkey jerkey, 2 servings of baby carrots, hummus, and a serving of string cheese
DINNER - shrimp stir-fry w/o sauce

Try this...

Put your back up against the wall, bend at the knees until you get a 90-degree angle, and just stay there.... now lift one leg (either one)... switch to the other in ten seconds... then back to the first one.... then the other. Hurts like hell, huh? These are called "single-leg wall squats," and they actually made me turn purple in the face and roar in pain! And it was only one in several exercises/tortures that were part of today's Legs and Back X workout! Mr. Horton, you are a sadist! It will be a miracle if I can do Kenpo X tomorrow... or Ab Ripper X tonight (as planned)!

On the flip side, the chin-ups are getting easier to do... I'm also getting better at making sure that I do not use my leg to push me up if I have to be assisted by a chair. Maybe that chin-up bar (which I got long before I ever signed up to do this) was a good investment after all!

The P90X diet is an exercise in patience and acceptance. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm full every time I finish a portion, and while I have not been able to follow the actual meals to the letter (partly due to availability of some items listed there, and also because I am worried about the salad greens going bad before I get to them), I am eating the right portions of the right stuff. Even so, I'm missing some old favorites like pasta, burritos from Agave, and of course dessert! However I am sticking to it as part of the program. Besides, in my zealousness to learn more about how the diet works, I looked ahead to Phase 2 and saw that some old favorites are waiting for me in the future -- oatmeal with raisins, blueberry muffins, and stuff like that. It's worth going through this to get there, I guess... just wanna be sure I don't go hog wild when we are reunited. In a similar vein, I'm still not sure if my friend Chris in Tennessee is trying to derail me with his recent gift of Dove chocolates with almonds. After all, he is starting this program soon (or so he says). Maybe when he's at the point I am at, I will have a big batch of fudge brownies, still warm from the oven, delivered right to his front door. Take that, boy!

TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - spinach omelet, 1/2 a grapefruit, 4 oz skim milk, coffee
SNACK - protein bar
LUNCH - whey protein in 8 oz of skim milk, mushroom salad with lite Italian dressing
AFTERNOON SNACK - 1 oz string cheese
DINNER - Grilled chicken with Montreal spices, 1/2 cup of snap peas, 1 serving of brown rice

Absolutely starving later tonight.... ate a banana.

Yoga is not for Wussies!

A comment from Tony Horton's Blog Spot:
I just finished the yoga section of my first week. Up until now it's been (more or less) no problem keeping up with you, but this was the first video where I had to pause, sit down, and seriously contemplate whether or not you're human. Apparently at 20 I have the joint and muscle flexibility of an 80 year old. Go figure.
--Delbirt

He's not kidding. I just finished this myself about ten minutes ago, and it was the first time I ever did yoga. Do not kid yourselves, people... yoga is not for wussies. This was more than just tying myself into a knot; this was a hardcore isometric workout! I actually sweat! Even so, maintained a calm face and a calm mind. What's more... all the soreness I had from the previous three days has disappeared. I actually feel a bit limber again! I may not be moaning and groaning anymore when I go up or down the stairs of my apartment today!

Today's Menu:

BREAKFAST - 2 soy sausage patties on a whole wheat english muffin, banana, 1 string cheese, cup of coffee (black)
SNACK - Power Bar, 4 0z OJ
LUNCH - serving of green beans, left over steak tips (used from steak salad), whey protein in 8 oz of skim milk, 1 oz cashews
DINNER - grilled swordfish filet, serving of green beans, brown rice

Feeling Better

Shoulders & Arms X was great. Would like to attribute it to years of swimming, but in reality, this time I used slightly lighter weights than i did on chest and back. Make no mistake, I felt the burn, but even so, I could probably go a little heavier. Will get some more 2.5 pounders and try adding them next week, perhaps. Also did Ab Ripper X... still hurts like hell, and I am regularly worried about my form. Even so, I'm doing it and trusting I will get into the groove soon.

As for yesterday's disappointments on the job front, I am doing much better. No need to channel any aggression into the exercises because the aggression kinda dissipated over night. Still a bit disappointed, but not as bad as yesterday. Channeled that into getting my résumé out to a job in Tempe, AZ and another in Portland, ME. Will see what happens there. Thanks to everyone who gave support, encouragement, and bucked my spirits after that.

Huge thanks to Jack Kirven for his encouraging words and support: "i've done p90x 3 times through. pace yourself. always. do what you can, and do a little more each time. it will take you until somewhere at the midway point to be able to do everything, if not longer. if something hurts: STOP. feed your body WELL and OFTEN. drink lots of water. laugh at tony's shitty jokes. this is the only way to get through it. xoxo"

Many thanks, Jack. I hope I look as good as you when I am done with the first time!

Today's Meals:

BREAKFAST - 2 slices, turkey bacon, chicken scrambler, 4 oz OJ, 1 cup of coffee
No mid-day Snack, 4 0z OJ right after workout
LUNCH - same as yesterday (that steak salad was really good!) plus whey protein in skim milk
AFTERNOON SNACK - power bar
DINNER - grilled chicken brest in montreal spices, 1/2 cup of brown rice, 1/2 zucchini (sliced), bananna

Chicken Scramble

Hey folks,

Haven't worked out yet, but decided to say hello right after breakfast..... which was the chicken scramble. You gotta try this... it was AWESOME! Here's the recepie (at least for phase 1 of the workout):

6 egg whites
3 oz. chicken breast, cooked and diced
1.5 oz. fat free Parmesan cheese, grated
1/2 tbsp chopped fresh basil

1. Coat a nonstick skillet with cooking spray and place over medium heat.
2. Lightly beat the eggwhites with a fork and add to the pan. Cook, stirring until halfway set. Add the diced chicken and cheese and cook halfway through. Salt and pepper to taste.
3. Garnish with fresh basil and serve.

per serving; 320 calories, 6g total fat (17% cal from fat), 49g protein, 16g carbohydrate, 78mg cholesterol, 678mg sodium (more if you salt and pepper to taste, obviously)

Wish I had taken a picture of it... it was not only yummy and smelled great while I was cooking it, but it was pretty too! :-)

Shoulders & Arms and the Ab Ripper today. More anon.

I'm Hopping Mad

Ah Plyometrics X... bouncy, springy, and hard as hell! This was a tough morning, mostly because I am off rhythm with the video and doing exercises without the benefit of having seen them done beforehand. That's one of the hurdles I am having to overcome in the course of this workout, but it is one that I realize is temporary. Part of the trick for these exercises is just going to be learning how to do them. Once that's in line, I think everything else will fall into place. Is it cheating if I watch the video for tomorrow's workout (Shoulders and Arms X) ahead of time so that I know what kinds of movements to make?

I think I should have waited, actually, to do Plyometrics X until this evening. I just found out that I did not get a job that I wanted in Indianapolis, and that another job which I did want in Oklahoma City is hoping I will blithely accept an offer to come work for them for $6,000 a year LESS than what I am making now! Though the cost of living in Oklahoma may be less than where I am now, I just can't do that; I have to eat and I have bills to pay. I just wish I could have channelled all the disappointment and outrage (yes, oddly enough, I am outraged) about this unhappy turn of events into something as intense as plyometrics. Ah well, can't cry over spilled milk. Besides, my days of being downwardly mobile are over.... why settle for less?

Well, tomorrow is a new day, and I still have to get through this one. Dust myself off and keep moving... something else will come along, and when it does, I'll be able to jump for it and catch it!



TODAY'S MENU:
BREAKFAST - protein shake (cup of vanilla whey protein, 1 cup of skim milk, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup of frozen berries), 1/2 banana, coffee
LUNCH - steak salad with lo-cal balsamic vinagrette
SNACKS - AM: protein bar, PM: 1 oz string cheese
DINNER - still to be determined as of 2pm, but I think it's going to be the other half of that can of veggie soup, a serving of baby carrots, 2 tbsp of plain hummus, and 2 veggie burger patties.

After Day 1

Just finished the 16-minute Ab Ripper X. Very hard... constantly worried about my form while doing the exercises. Hard to go from simply doing crunches to the kind of core work these guys are pounding themselves with. Hard to keep pace... mostly because I'm trying to learn how to do the exercise while watching it and doing it at the same time. Maybe this will get easier... well, easier in the sense that I won't be so perplexed at learning the moves and they will come more naturally.

Anyway, huge thanks to my buddy Nick in Princeton, NJ who has not only completed the program, but has given me a ton of motivational support in just a few words.

Today's meals:
BREAKFAST - mushroom omelet, frozen berries, coffee (no sugar or cream), and a few yucky spoonfuls of cottage cheese (would rather eat snot next time!)
10:30AM SNACK - protein bar
LUNCH - green salad with 3/4 cup of grilled chicken, a few sprays of light italian dressing, glass of water
DINNER - grilled salmon, brown rice, handful of green beans, 1/2 can of vegetable soup,
POST AB-RIPPER - 8 oz. whey protein in skim milk

Plyometrics X tomorrow. Will open the window a bit in spite of the cold winter air... keep me from overheating. I think that was part of the problem during Chest And Abs X.

I WILL DO THIS!!!

The Biggest Loser

You ever watch that show? The one where they transform obese people into health machines? That first episode or two is always a the one where one of the contestants invariably pukes from exhaustion, right? I know now how they feel... and I have only done one of the required two workouts for today - chest and back! I actually wondered for a moment, as I lay there nauseous and huffing and puffing, if I had bitten off more than I could chew. But no! I will not not-do this because it's hard! I may be exhausted, feeling like a physical weakling, and embarrassed about my physical limitations at his stage of the game, but I will do this!

I'm trying to follow the diet plan too. Even as I sit here eating breakfast, I am trying to remember if I ate this much before... or ate like this before. The answer is no on both counts. I still wish I hadn't bought that cottage cheese. It's thoroughly disgusting.

Ab Ripper tonight... hope I can move tomorrow.

food glorious food

I haven't been to the grocery store since Christmas, I think. So needless to say the house was devoid of food until today... just shopped as per the phase one portion of the program's meal plan. The lady at the supermarket looked at me like I was stocking a bomb shelter with health foods! It was also the first time I bought a blender... they suggest you use one for all those tasty (?) protein shakes that are part of the package.

But what cost! I am already exhausted just from getting the groceries... and reviewing the receipt!

Oh well. This is a new way of doing things... we'll see how I feel about all this after the first couple of weeks. I just hope that everything I bought lasts until then!

Dinner then fitness test before bed.

And so it begins...

I know what you are thinking... Just another Average Joe who, inspired by that stupid "Julie & Julia movie," is going to hold himself to his New Year commitment to that beach body in 90 days by blogging about his effort to tackle the P90X Extreme Home Fitness System and take me along for the ride. These waters have already been swam in, and what this guy is doing is hardly new. Why is he wasting his time and mine with this crapola?

Don't blame you for feeling that way. I kinda wonder why I am doing this myself.... the blog, that is, not the P90X. The program is something I have been wanting to do for a long time--probably since the first time I saw it. The blog? Something to, hopefully, put into order for anyone else who is doing or interested in the P90X program what I have been doing on a daily basis in terms of diet, programs, and stuff like that. In a perfect world, perhaps I might meet up with other P90X-doers or P90X-hopefuls through this little venture and form a little community. I know one already exists at millionollarbody.com, but I'm hoping to make this a little more personal. There's a lot going on in my life right now too... I'm newly single, on the verge of a career change, and seeking to grow healthier mentally and spiritually as well as physically. Accordingly, what you, dear reader, are tuning in to witness is not only the change that the P90X will hopefully bring about in my body, but what it will help me do in terms of development in my psyche and emotions as well. I mean, hey.... can't take care of one and neglect the other two, right?

So that's what this is all about in a nutshell. Onlookers, supporters, advisors and critics are all welcome. I won't promise to wax lyrical every day about how things are going, but I will commit to writing every day about it.