I used to be a black belt...

No really... I was! I trained with Grandmaster Han Young Kim at Blue Dragon Tae Kwon Do in Timonium, Maryland when I was in my early teens and earned my 1st-dan black belt from him in 1988. I'm so glad he couldn't see me this morning as I did Kenpo X; he'd demand it back and forget he ever knew me, I'm sure. Ain't as flexible as I used to be at thirteen (obviously), and a lot of the old techniques I used to know that would have been helpful for this workout have worn down with age and disuse. At least I have something to aim for as I progress. And on a positive note, today I actually kept up with Mr. Horton and the kids! Maybe the years of training with Master Kim have not gone to waste after all, and maybe I'm getting out of first gear.

And boy, was it a relief to punch and kick today! Yesterday, my ex called to tell me that his cat (whom I cared for from the day he moved out until early last month) is not getting along with his new roommate's dog (blood has been drawn, from what he says), that he can't find anyone to adopt the cat, and that it's getting to the point where he may have to consider a "final solution." It just broke my heart... and it made it worse to think that I drove his pet all the way from Oberlin, OH to Northampton, MA only to find a few weeks later that he might put the cat down! Just burned me up and made me so foul-tempered for the last few hours of yesterday. Could have used the Kenpo X then, perhaps, instead of acting like an angry jerk at my meeting last evening and then driving home to be a bitter hermit!

I know it's his animal, his choice, and his responsibility. I also know that I should not feel guilty, as if I sent that animal to his doom. I will even nod in agreement when my ex says that it's not what he wants to do, but he is running out of time and options as the roommate's dog nurses his wounds and the terrified cat is under constant stress from being on red alert all the time. Still, it doesn't make it any less sour. As much as I hate to admit it, I got real attached to that animal... and for a while, I get to experience what cat owners across the globe feel for their cats. It's silly of me to mourn something that isn't dead, right? Even so, those of you who are so inclined, keep the cat, Sebastian, in your prayers.... and also my ex because (as I said) he's got a hard decision to make, and as upset as I am, I don't envy his position one bit.

Oh well... I awoke today telling myself that it was a new day, and to allow myself the grace of a fresh start. Now that I have had some sleep, sweat a few buckets thanks to Mr. Horton and company, and have written a bit about it, I feel better. Still determined to keep going, and still determined to keep looking for progress.... and MAKING IT!


Sebastian


TODAY'S MENU
BREAKFAST - coffee, protein shake, 1/2 banana
SNACK - protein bar
LUNCH - 2 oz turkey jerkey, 2 servings of baby carrots, hummus, and a serving of string cheese
DINNER - shrimp stir-fry w/o sauce